March 2012
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i hope Rick Santorum gets compliments on his “sick gauges” multiple times a day, everyday.
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i hope Rick Santorum can’t remember that actor that’s in that one movie and it bugs him all day.
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i hope Rick Santorum has to run for his bus while everyone watches and when he finally gets to board he’s all red and sweaty and the driver and passengers are trying not to show that they’re laughing at him.
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i hope Rick Santorum falls asleep while chewing gum and has to get a really bad haircut to remove it.
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i hope Rick Santorum tries to sexually assault a woman wearing an anti-rape condom and has to go to the hospital to have it removed.
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i hope Rick Santorum gets a new puppy and steps barefoot in dog poo in the middle of the night.
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i hope Rick Santorum comes across his parents “swingers wanted” ad on craigslist. pics included.
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i hope Rick Santorum develops a really big crush on someone and they ask for his best friend’s phone number.
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i hope Rick Santorum’s cat always puts its butt in his face.
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i hope Rick Santorum has to write an important paper and can’t remember how to spell guarantee and his spellcheck is broken.
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i hope Rick Santorum thinks someone is waving at him but they’re actually waving at someone behind him and he has to fake swatting a bug.
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i hope Rick Santorum has a dying tastebud at the tip of his tongue and he can’t stop messing with it.
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i hope Rick Santorum gets a popcorn kernel stuck behind one of his back teeth, out of reach of his tongue and he has no floss.
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i hope Rick Santorum constantly feels a sneeze coming on but it never comes.
February 2012
teaching a super non-computer literate friend how to download adobe photoshop for her work is amusing. i have to type out detailed instructions for her. also, it’s a pc, and i’m used to my mac, so i’m really hoping she doesn’t end up needing my help. but she probably will, i had to teach her last year how to attach things to an email. womp.
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So to no one’s surprise I fucked up and am now NOT going to Santa Cruz for maximum hang out time. Effing. Lame.
silvacathartidae asked: Haha word, I will stop by and we can hang out.
silvacathartidae asked: Hey, you are coming to SC tomorrow? You should go to this house show that is happening tomorrow night. I don't know if it will be any good, but I will be there, and that means we can talk starwars and bodymods.
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what has two thumbs, super rad generous friends, and gets to hang out in Santa Cruz with sweet buddies tomorrow? this gal!
what also has two thumbs, is really peeved that the greyhound website is being a dick, and now gets to get up pretty early and buy a ticket over the phone? this gal. worth it!
adamrichins asked: I dont like my sangwhichs cut in thirds, its weirds me out. Haha
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Fuck yeah potatoes. →
Honestly, look at these versatile mother fuckers.
They can be
Hot
Cold
Healthy
Unhealthy
Simple
Fancy
Eaten on the go
Ugh. Potato appreciation post.
THIS
it’s embarrassing how much i love potatoes. and don’t forget to add “dirt cheap” to their list of wonderful qualities.
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"I'm not gonna be held back by some uterus turd."
sometimes Jenna Maroney drops out amazing pearls of wisdom.
bastard-brother:
prchtshrk:
groans:
food in real life never tastes as good as i imagine it tasting in cartoons
the bread in the beginning of Aladdin / krabby patties
Krabby Patties
Watching the Fraggles eat the Doozers buildings on Fraggle Rock always made me so hungry. Also, Jake’s everything burrito.
silvacathartidae:
theradicaldame:
my mom
is thinking about
voting for
rick santorum
punch her in the vagina and say “the government will do this to you everyday for the rest of your life if you vote for Santorum”
Yup. Literally every woman looking to vote for Santorum or even uttering any praise for Bachmann or Palin needs to get punted straight in the vag EVERYDAY. every. day.
If any of you beezy’s have DrawSomething on iPhone add me! Username is dannzilla
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So I was gonna go see Alkaline Trio on Thursday, but it turns out that despite covering for a co-worker who was gone for a week, I am in fact getting one LESS day on my paycheck. Goddamnit.
Update: I do get to go! My friend Kate is buying me a ticket as payment for me doing the album artwork for her band’s EP. Stoooked!
Anonymous asked: can i just say that you are the BEST shop girl in san francisco! i'm serious, cold steel is the only shop i'll go to, the only shop i recommend, and filled with the only artist i trust. you are so ridiculously nice to me every time i come in. you did even get remotely annoyed when i accidentally said gauged instead of stretched (i promise it was a VERY rare mistake). so yeah, i just...
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.